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Don't Be Nice, Be Real: Balancing Passion for Self with Compassion for Others, by Kelly Bryson
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Don't Be Nice, Be Real! is a lively, light approach to a deadly serious subject-our lives. It combines humor, radical wisdom, and new culture spirituality to teach the mechanics and spirit of Nonviolent Compassionate Communication to cure "Niceitis," a hereditary disease. The author has shown that nonviolent communication works wonders, in even the roughest of situations. He's used it with street gangs in San Diego, combined groups of Protestants and Catholics in Northern Ireland, Palestinians and Israelis in the Middle East, and among the Croats, Serbs, and Muslims of the Balkans during the Bosnian war. PTA meetings, business conflicts and marital custody battles call all be utterly transformed by these techniques.This book takes us from behind the wall of culturally conditioned niceness, providing us with the tools we need for self-responsible, non-judgmental, clear and conscious honesty.
- Sales Rank: #1426599 in Books
- Brand: Brand: Author's Publishing
- Published on: 2002-10
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: .60" h x 6.04" w x 9.06" l,
- Binding: Paperback
- 340 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
Most helpful customer reviews
19 of 20 people found the following review helpful.
The title of this book says it all!
By Gina Eldred
I rarely like self help books nor am I willing to read them from cover to cover, but this book is a an exception. The book expands upon the theme proposed in the title. It is about being honest and real and really brave. The book was very stimulating and offered a new perspective on deepening communication and intimacy with others and more importantly with myself. It starts where other books on co-dependency begin. A fun and stimulating read.
18 of 20 people found the following review helpful.
I was tired of being one of the 'nice dead people'
By Debora J. O'Connor
"I was tired of being one of the 'nice dead people' in the world, so the title of this book spoke to me. I was totally skeptical that it could really help. But after reading it I really was inspired to start "dancing in rhythm to the beat of my own soul, and learning how to enjoy it when people freak out about it." (A quote from the book.) It really has become my guide from depressed "doormat" through
overly "obnoxious" aggressiveness to an evolved, enlightened, more empathic assertiveness. Kelly's real life stories, hilarious humor and refreshing theories teach the mechanics of integrity and loyalty with oneself. It is convincing me of the self defeating dynamics behind self sacrifice. Plus the pratical principles and tools of Nonviolent Communication are helping me with my only relationship issue - "Self Abandonment!"
31 of 35 people found the following review helpful.
A must read, part of the NVC trilogy.
By Frederic Guerin
As soon as I finished reading the book, I wanted to reread it right away, which I did. It fits in my top 10, side by side with other books on the same subject: Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg and Stop Being Nice, Be True by Thomas d'Ansembourg (in french: Cessez d'etre gentil, Soyez vrai!). At first, when I saw the title of Bryson's book I was afraid it could be a kind of plagiarism of d'Ansembourg's book, since the titles are so much alike. But my concerns were soon dissipated after reading a few pages. This third book is purely a distinctive essay and an astonishing marvel like the other two. It makes its way using a totally different prose, delivering a mean to grasp NVC from a totally different perspective. Bryson puts it down in a colorful language and a wealth of provocative ideas and imaginative ways of thinking. Bryson also departs from the other two because he wants and likes to play with words and language. Thus his book is also an artwork. I had a hard time at first since I am not accustomed to this kind of writing, but it was such a blessing when I finally got to it. Bryson also likes to say what he thinks, which makes it a lively book, and which enables him to talk about what goes on in his head and heart. This also is a departure from established conventions, and I believe it is a deep source of insight into our own way of beeing. It is also congruent with what he teaches: to be real, open and vulnerable, taking the risk to disclose our self.
Alas the book has many typos. I like to imagine that Bryson made it intentionaly to refrain from beeing perfect. Also, the last two chapters talk about how today's society is bad compared to ancient ones. But I just don't agree with that. Then he stabs men for being violent and promotes women's values. Well this could be an issue in USA, but not quite here in Eastern Canada. Sure men a more prone to be agressive than women almost everywhere in the world, but after all what counts is how this agressivity gets expressed. Men are men and women, women. Then he talks a lot about religion's power. Again an issue in USA but not here. So I wasn't much impressed by these last two chapters. But anyway, this book is still a goldmine to me, the last two chapters simply being veins of lead instead of gold. Of course this applies to me here and now and may not apply to you there and then.
It is certainly an absolute must for whoever is interested in the subject. Enjoy!
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